Explosive Incidents

• If you can see an argument coming, (often you can’t), try to go to a room or area that has access to an exit and not in a bathroom (near hard surfaces), a kitchen (knives), or anywhere near weapons.
• Try to stay in a room with a phone so you can call 911, the police, a friend or a neighbor.
• If weapons are in the home, inform law enforcement.
• Practice how to get out of your home safely. Visualize your escape route. Identify the best doors, windows, elevator, or stairwell.
• Have a packed bag ready with any medications and other important items. Keep it hidden in a handy place in order to leave quickly. Consider leaving the bag elsewhere if your abuser searches your home.
• Ask a neighbor to call the police if they hear a disturbance coming from your home.
• Devise a code word to use with your children, grandchildren and others to communicate that you need the police.
• Decide and plan for where you will go if you have to leave home (even if you don’t think you will need to).

Always remember-YOU DON’T DESERVE TO BE HIT OR THREATENED!

Preparing to Leave

• Open a savings account in your own name to start to establish or increase your independence. Consider direct deposit of your paycheck or benefit check. Think of other ways to increase your financial independence.
• Leave money, an extra set of keys, copies of important documents and extra clothes with someone you trust so you can leave quickly.
• Bring any medications, prescriptions, and glasses, hearing aids or other assistive devices you may need.
• Determine who would be able to let you stay with them or lend you some money.
• Keep the domestic abuse program number close at hand and keep some change or a telephone calling card with you at all times for emergency phone calls. Consider getting a cellular phone if possible.
• If you are 60 years or older, contact your county/tribal aging unit to learn about eligibility for public and private benefits and services such as Social Security, pensions, housing, transportation and medical insurance.
• Review your safety plan as often as possible in order to plan the safest way to leave your abuser. Remember—leaving can be the most dangerous time.

Your Own Home (if your abuser does not live with you)

• Change the locks on your doors as soon as possible. Buy additional locks and safety devices to secure your windows. Consider installing or increasing your outside lighting.
• If you have young children, grandchildren, or other dependants living with you discuss a safety plan for when you are not with them and inform their school, day care, etc., about who has permission to pick them up.
• Inform neighbors and your landlord that your abuser no longer lives with you and that they should call the police if they see your abuser near your home.
• Consider a restraining order.

Restraining Orders

• Keep your restraining order with you at all times. (When you change your purse, this should be the first thing that goes into it.) If it is lost or destroyed, you can get another copy from the County Clerk of Courts office.
• Call the police if your abuser violates the conditions of the restraining order.
• Think of alternative ways to keep safe in case the police do not respond right away.
• Inform family, friends, teachers, and neighbors that you have a restraining order in effect.

In Public

• Decide who you will inform of your situation. This could include your school, office or building security (provide a picture of your abuser if possible).
• Arrange to have someone screen your telephone calls, if possible.
• Devise a safety plan for when you are out in public. Have someone escort you to your car, bus, or taxi. If possible, use a variety of routes to go home. Think about what you would do if something happened while going home.

            

Your Safety & Emotional Health

• If you are thinking of returning to a potentially abusive situation, discuss your plan with someone you trust.
• If you have to communicate with your abuser, arrange to do so in the way that makes you feel safest, whether by phone, mail, in the company of another person, etc.
• Have positive thoughts about yourself and articulate clearly with others about your needs.
• Read books, articles, and poems to give you strength.
• Decide who you can call to talk to freely and openly, and who can give you the support you need.
• Call a domestic violence crisis helpline.
• Attend a women’s or victims’ support group to gain support from others and learn more about yourself and the relationship.
• Get the facts on Teenager and Intimate Partner Violence at the Family Violence Prevention Fund.

Teen Section (If you are a teen in an abusive or violent relationship)

• Decide which friend, teacher, relative or police officer you can tell.
• Contact an advocate at the court or local domestic violence program to learn how to obtain a restraining order and make a safety plan.

Leave with These Items

• Driver’s license or other form of ID
• Birth certificate for you and any family members
• Money, bank books, checkbooks, credit cards, ATM cards, and mortgage payment book
• Papers such as Social Security card, work permit, green card, passport
• Divorce and custody papers
• Insurance papers and medical records
• Lease, rental agreement, and/or house deed
• Keys-house/car/office
• Medications, glasses, hearing aids, and assistive devices needed for you and your children, grandchildren and other dependants
• Personal items such as address book, pictures, jewelry and items of sentimental value for you and your children/grandchildren

Telephone Numbers

For information about domestic abuse services outside your community

• Wisconsin Coalition Against Domestic Violence (608) 255-0539
• The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), TTY: 1-800-787-3224.
• Wisconsin Coalition Against Sexual Assault: 1-608-257-1516
• Family Health Medical and Dental Center: 1-920-787-5514
• Refugee Family Strengthening Bilingual Hotline: 1-888-345-5898
• Unidos Against Domestic Violence: 1-800-510-9195
• Remember, in an emergency call 911